News and Other Male Bovine Feces – Part Eins

Me and Natasha

Yeah.  Stop your whining.  You knew what you were getting into when you walked out the door.  You blew a hole in the bottom of your rowboat with a shotgun 35 years ago and now you’re crying because you have to bail water.  Poor baby . . ..

The coffee yesterday was nice and you got me the Times and the Post and that was nice too.  So thanks for that.

Now, back to you guys . . .

Gryph, Natasha,, and I have been having EXTREME difficulty getting good internet connection today.  You would THINK that if people are going to be so gracious as to allow us to steal their wifi signal that the LEAST they could do would be to boost it up more or point it in our direction or something!  It has taken me one hour now just to get this far along.  Hopefully, the

FiFi. Not mine, but adequately representative.

connection will hold for a little while now.

(the automatic spell checker tells me that “wifi” isn’t a word and recommends that I replace it with “FiFi.”  “FiFi” was a French “hostess” that I met one time many years ago at Caesar’s in Atlantic City.  It’s not appropriate here . . . but maybe some other time I’ll talk about it . . . where was I?  She was sparkly, very sparkly . . ..)

So, Letterman was schtupping Stephanie eh?  She would have been my choice too were I in his white socks and loafers.  She is hot in a mousey way.  I always wondered if she was a squealer or a moaner . . . Huh?  oh…….  ok…….

And Now For The News!

I have a good one that I will try to save for the end but I can’t make any promises.  It is just soooooo good that it is hard to hold in.  I’ll try . . .

Let’s start with my notes as soon as I can find them.

Everything was provided for me by the good people at the New York Times who have YET to give me a free subscription regardless of HOW many times I give them free plugs.

INTERNATIONAL

Guinea

Capitan Moussa Camara

There was a coup in Guinea.  It was back in December ‘08 and believe it or not I did a post on it Christmas Day.  My post was called Coup in Guinea.  Original, eh?

Anyway the country was back in the news yesterday.  It seems that the new ruler, Captain Moussa Dadis Camara, is not such a very nice guy, which comes as a large surprise him being a military dictator and all.  It seems that when he promised free elections back in December within two years that he MIGHT not have been completely sincere.

They had a rally last week for some reason or other and the Times claims that Camara’s soldiers turned it into a bloodbath.

Moussa was going to go the rally.  Really he was!  He said he was going and you know that a despot is ALWAYS good for his word.  But he didn’t make it for reasons beyond his control.  He really wanted to go but when the time came to leave he couldn’t find the keys to his pickup truck.

I shit you not.  That was his excuse.  He really and truly told reporters that.  He couldn’t find the keys to his truck.  He said that.  That was the reason he didn’t show up for a rally that his troops turned into a bloodbath.  He misplaced his keys.  MAN!  I HATE when that happens!

They have this little electronic device now that will help you locate your keys by clapping your hands.  Maybe they don’t have that technology yet in Guinea.

Well, anyway, it may not be very original but is just as believable as any other lie he could have told.  And, who knows, maybe he really did lose his keys.  Is he married?  Could his wife have been of assistance here?  Seems vaguely important that the leader of a country be able to find his keys in time to get to a rally where folks are going to be shot and stabbed and women raped with assault rifles.  Spectacles like that just CRY out for leadership to show the proper way of doing things.

He told this to a group of reporters in a long extemporaneous news conference and then at the end of it he offered to send the reporters out on the town to nightclubs.  “On my tab,” he said.  “As Chief of State.”

We interrupt this news broadcast for generalized whining . . .

Look it is taking me a real long time to write this.  I keep losing connection for 15 to 30 minutes at a time.  So this is what WE are going to do.  We are going to call this Part I.  Part II will be up directly–just not tonight.

to be continued . . .

c.e.s.